Aint that Great
by Angelus Erreare
Summary: Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga Argilla reflects on her marriage to Serph. PAIRING: Serph x Argilla. WARNING: SEMIAU, MODERATE LANGUAGE, SUGGESTIVE THEMES, 1ST PERSON POV, MINOR Serph Bashing. ONESHOT!


**Aint that Great**

**By: Angelus Erreare **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belongs to ATLUS USA. **

**A/N: An idea that kept nagging me until I wrote it down. Well, aside from that, this is also my first and probably last, crack at a First Person POV fic. **

**Frankly, I don't care much for First Person POV. **

**So yea, this was an experiment. **

**WARNING: SLIGHT OOC, SUGGESTIVE THEMES, MODERATE LANGUAGE, MINOR SERPH-BASHING. **

xxxxx

I don't really know what the fuss is about. Not really.

What is the fuss about? Absolutely nothing.

That's right. There really isn't anything interesting about being his mate. Not really. There isn't much fun or interest in being married to Embryon's leader. Not really.

But then again, this isn't the way I had always thought…

When I had first seen him…when I had been a little girl, I had admired him from afar. Although he had been nearly my age, I couldn't help think that we were miles apart. Sure we were. He had been promoted to the elite team at the tender age of twelve…while I had been a lowly nurse.

Of course, I knew that my designation was noble; we helped and healed the injured.

But it had been nothing compared to what the others from the marines had done for the tribe…

We weren't like them.

_I_ wasn't like _him_.

Serph…

He was brave…young and dashing.

He, like many others, had been the wall that had stood in between the marauders and us. He had been our shield from the horrors of the world that lay outside our safe walls…

And we felt grateful.

_I_ felt grateful at having such fine brave men and women.

And I couldn't help but think of how I wanted to be like them…

I wanted to be like _him_…

He was the epitome of everything that was good in a warrior. He had been perfect from every angle. He was lean and fit; agile and quick in battle. He was quick-witted and was considered a genius in his own rite. And his appearance was something every woman would swoon over…

His silver eyes were deep and emotive…expressive.

His silver hair was thick and slick…soft…

His lips, though they were always drawn to a close were full and luscious…Oh how many times did I and so many others had dreamed and fantasized about kissing them…and his arms, just looking at them, I used to imagine how strong they were…

I used to imagine how many men had fallen by such hands…Oh how I imagined him holding me close…embracing me.

I used to squeal at such thoughts when I was little.

I used to dream about that…and likewise, just as I wanted to be with him, I wanted to be _like_ him.

And that dream hadn't been impossible. With hard work and perseverance, I had finally arrived at the place where I had always wanted to be; with him.

Yes…as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months and the months had turned into years…I had grown and so had my skills.

I had been given the opportunity to enter the team…and it wasn't just any team. It was _his_. It had been that time when he had been selected as tribe leader. My eyes had widened in awe then and my pink pools had sparkled in fascination.

There had been no doubt in my mind that he would be chosen as leader.

No doubt at all.

In all of his years in service, he had done nothing but be a martyr for the tribe.

But even if the whole world watch him…gaze at him and had been in amazement of each and every movement that he had made…I would dare say that none of them had really known him…

Not really.

None of them really know the man within the solemn and faithful Embryon soldier. No one had really been able to take a peek at the deeper…darker side of Embryon's strongest warrior…

No one…but me.

I don't mean to be arrogant…Hell no! That's the _last_ thing I want to be!

But I do know and believe that I had been the only person to which our leader had ever confided in.

And it didn't come easy.

We had been pushed towards one another during one of fate's twisted tests. He had been injured and near death…but I had been able to save him. And he was glad. It had been the first time that I had ever seen him smile…without teeth, mind you!

But never mind that now…

Ahem!

From that smile, all I had to say…was that it had warmed and altogether melted my heart.

And that had been the start of it all…

He and I had become closer…and had become more than just comrades.

We had become friends.

And I was happy.

And then…things between us had changed even still…

We had gone even closer…until one fateful night…he had come to me…with a proposal.

And I had accepted.

And now…now, after years of being his faithful mate and wife…Now that I had seen, heard, felt and tasted him inside and out could I say that…being his wife…isn't all that was cracked up to be.

Like I said before, when I was a little girl, I had always envisioned my husband to be…strong…handsome…

And Serph was all that!

Or so I thought.

Like I said, no one really saw him underneath.

No one really asked the reason why he hardly smiles…

No one really asked why he rarely speaks.

And no one really asked why never plays that sport…

What was that again?

Basketball?

Well…!

I'll tell you why!

Hah! They don't know that he had hardly smiled in order to hide his crooked teeth. Eww…Disgusting I know…But then again, no one was perfect. Yes, Junkyard's demi-god has crooked teeth…Each tooth seems to have a separate personality as it had grown from his gums outside its normal designated area.

Each tooth seems to have a mind of its own and had developed arrogance that knew no bounds as each of them arrogantly ignored the other, facing the other way.

Yea…his teeth are like that…

So, yea, I guess Serph had been right _not_ to smile too often…if ever that is.

And the fact that his teeth aren't pearly white, the way I imagined it to be, doesn't really add to the appeal either.

Eww…

And then…there is the fact that he hardly spoke…

Doesn't he know that it is unhygienic to keep his mouth closed too much for too long a time?!

Well…I didn't either until I had a taste of his stale lips and tongue and had a smell of his overwhelming dragon breath!

Talk about toasty!

Ewww…!

And to think that I had always wanted to kiss him and be kissed by him…

I guess that is the reason why we spend a lot on toothpaste and toothbrushes! Sheesh! And there he was wondering where all the Macca had gone!

Silly man!

But then again, when I had first seen his crooked teeth when we were dating, I didn't really think much of it. I had been too taken with the idea of dating Embryon's leader that I just…phased that little detail out!

Ugh…Stupid girlish dreams!

So, a message to all aspiring little girls: don't build your life upon an idea you have on a person! Don't live your life based on that perfect dream man either!

If you do, you're in for a shock!

Well, not really.

Most just block out that bad trait of their partner and just…deny it. Like me.

Ugh…Like I said, I was stupid. But anyway, we're getting sidetracked! We're talking about Serph here! Serph! Not me! Ahem!

Anyway, speaking of Serph, his teeth are only the tip of the iceberg.

There are so much more; such as his garlic-shaped hair.

I can't help but laugh at that.

I have always wanted to run my fingers through that thick and soft silver hair of his…

I've always dreamed about that…

And now, I wish I hadn't!

Since Serph and the others had spent a lot of time on the field, rarely did he get time for himself…much less the condition of his body.

I suppose that's why I have to purchase a lot of hair disinfectants. God knows how many times I tell him to pack those anti-lice shampoo! But then again, he would reason that he didn't have time for that…

I can just shake my head in defeat…

But no!

I won't give up!

He may have a lot of dandruff within his hair dwindling in number with lice…but I won't give up! That's the true measure of love, isn't it?

Don't worry Serph! We'll find a way to make your thin hair thick again!

Psst…! Did I tell you that that is the reason he combed his hair that way…? It is to make up for a few balding patches every here and there…!

So yea! Just imagine running your fingers through that sort of sticky and oily thin hair!

Ewww…!

No!

Double eww…!!

But…that isn't the "best" part of all!

After all, there is his synthesized allergy to ball games.

Hah!

I just can't help but laugh at that…

Ball games huh?

I suppose the term "ball" is appropriate enough!

Again, no one would've guessed the reason for my husband to refrain from playing such "ball" games.

Want to know why?

Sure, I'll tell you.

Serph has…a condition.

Doesn't anyone know that? Nah! How could they? Serph hid it quite well actually. It was flawless; just like his agile movements in battle.

Yes; he had been able to conceal it from the public and I was no different. Well, he had managed to hide it from me…at least up until our wedding night…

It was then that he had "revealed" his "all" to me and I had seen his "condition".

You see…like the Babylonians, Serph has his own version of the "Hanging Gardens"…Only his, didn't contain any sort of flora or fauna but rather hung balls instead.

Literally.

Yes.

He has loose testicles; testicles that hung unevenly…

Oh my God…Eww…

And he had admitted it to me as the primary reason why he had avoided such physical games. I had been left dumbstruck as well when I had heard it from him. But then again, as I imagine how the game is played and with what attire, then it all make sense.

Basketball players wear loose shirts and shorts…the latter of which is completely inappropriate for someone who has my husband's predisposition.

I know, I know.

Eww…

Loose balls.

The Hanging Gardens; Serph's style.

Which of which would lead us to the conclusion of this narrative…!

People say I have the best sex ever…

And they are probably right…

Oh how I loved to make love to my Serphy…

He could just go on for hours and hours…

I just can't help but sigh though…

Oh why oh why did the gods deprive him of a well-equipped manhood?!

Didn't they know that size mattered!?

Oh damn you gods!!

…!

Ahem!

Well, phew…I needed that release…

So…

Like I said…

Being married to the Embryon's leader isn't just about romance and it isn't about having the perfect marriage with the strongest man, the most handsome man…

You see, most people believe that my marriage is perfect; in every way.

Most people think that it's all about a great looking husband who has both power and wealth…strength and honor…and of course, great sex.

But then again…it isn't all in that.

Not really.

It aint that great.

That's why I'm doing what I'm doing now.

I want to tell you…that it isn't perfect.

Not really.

But then again…it doesn't matter to me.

Crooked teeth or no, I still adore my Serphy.

Bad breath or no, I still fancy my Serphy.

Lice-infested hair or no, I still fantasize about my Serphy.

Dandruff-filled and balding head or no, I'm still crazy about my Serphy…

Hanging Gardens or Hanging Balls, I still love my Serphy…

So, in the end…I suppose it doesn't matter.

I still love him either way; no matter how he is.

I look past all that physical appearance. To me, my Serphy is my Serphy. Despite all that crap, to me, my Serphy is perfect.

But still, I can't help but shiver and cringe whenever I would hear people admiring my so-called perfect marriage and wince as I hear women squealing as they fantasize about the so-called amazing sex with Serph.

Ugh…

Don't they know…that it all aint that great?

xxxxx

FIN


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